This is an irreverent survival guide for new teachers. The focus is on retelling mythic stories that display our humanity and enhance our empathic nature by giving free reign to the comedic side of our personality. In other words humor has a place in our lives and can be harnessed to help us survive the challenges of the secondary classroom. Humor can be the lever by which we find not only introspection, but also a philosophical approach to life as a teacher. This is not a "here's what to do" manual. Rather, it is more like a compass helping us to navigate our way through the school day. It is not a "Pollyanna" approach to education. It is an immensely serious effort to assist teachers in winning the "hearts and minds" of their students.