**A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SERIES**
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Miserably scrawled by Lemony Snicket and respectfully illustrated by Brett Helquist, never before has a series of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky.
In what is agreed upon by all to be a very bad beginning to the rest of their lives, these three youngsters not only learn that their parents have died and that they've become orphans overnight, but also that a one Count Olaf will be their caretaker. Repulsive, demanding, and downright sinister, Count Olaf proves to be as greedy as his eyes are beady (and, readers, they are beady).
With their family fortune on the line, the siblings must endure a few terrible things before--we can only hope--making it out alive: itchy clothing, boiled potatoes, shamefully incompetent adults, and a wedding that no one wants to attend, including the bride.
Read now...or forever hold your peace.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
Are you made fainthearted by death? Does fire unnerve you? Is a villain something that might crop up in future nightmares of yours? Are you thrilled by nefarious plots? Is cold porridge upsetting to you? Vicious threats? Hooks? Uncomfortable clothing?
It is likely that your answers will reveal A Series of Unfortunate Events to be ill-suited for your personal use. A librarian, bookseller, or acquaintance should be able to suggest books more appropriate for your fragile temperament. But to the rarest of readers we say, Proceed, but cautiously.
*A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SERIES*
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Miserably scrawled by Lemony Snicket and respectfully illustrated by Brett Helquist, never before has a series of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
Undearest reader, welcome to the second tale in Lemony Snicket's collection about not one, not two, but three unlucky orphan siblings, heirs to a great fortune, who attempt to elude an evil maybe-relative--and his cast of unsavory actors--as they search for a home.
Sadly, the unlucky streak continues for Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, even as they find themselves temporarily sheltered by a friendly and interesting uncle. A deadly viper, a ridiculous disguise, a viewing of Zombies in the Snow, and two hooked hands all figure into this second, slippery entry in A Series of Unfortunate Events, which has been illustrated by the terrifically talented Brett Helquist.
Good luck finishing this unscathed.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Some boxes should never be opened.
For the first time, the complete A Series of Unfortunate Events is available in one awful package
We can't keep you from succumbing to this international bestselling phenomenon, but we can hide all thirteen books in a huge, elaborately illustrated, shrink-wrapped box, perfect for filling an empty shelf or deep hole.
From The Bad Beginning to The End, this box set, adorned with Brett Helquist art from front to back, is the only choice for people who simply cannot get enough of a bad thing
In the years since this publishing house was founded, we have worked with an array of wondrous authors who have brought illuminating clarity to our bewildering world. Now, instead, we bring you Lemony Snicket.
Over the course of his long and suspicious career, Mr. Snicket has investigated many things, including villainy, treachery, conspiracy, ennui, and various suspicious fires. In this book, he is investigating his own death.
Poison for Breakfast is a different sort of book than others we have published, and from others you may have read. It is different from other books Mr. Snicket has written. It could be said to be a book of philosophy, something almost no one likes, but it is also a mystery, and many people claim to like those. Certainly Mr. Snicket didn't relish the dreadful task of solving it, but he had no choice. It was put in front of him, right there, on his plate.NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Dear Reader,
If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all. If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair. I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School, they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori or Remember you will die.
This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky.
In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odour.
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Dear Reader,
You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded in these pages.
I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats. It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book instead.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
The Baudelaires need a safe place to stay--somewhere far away from terrible villains and local police. A quiet refuge where misfortune never visits. Might Heimlich Hospital be just the place?
In Lemony Snicket's eighth ghastly installment in A Series of Unfortunate Events, I'm sorry to say that the Baudelaire orphans will spend time in a hospital where they risk encountering a misleading newspaper headline, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events. Scream and run away before the secrets of the series are revealed
Very little is known about Lemony Snicket and A Series of Unfortunate Events. What we do know is contained in the following brief list:
Even less is known about book the twelfth in this alarming phenomenon. What we do know is contained in the following brief list:
Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Like an off-key violin concert, the Roman Empire, or food poisoning, all things must come to an end. Thankfully, this includes A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. The thirteenth and final installment in the groundbreaking series will answer readers' most burning questions: Will Count Olaf prevail? Will the Baudelaires survive? Will the series end happily? If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?
Then again, why trouble yourself with unfortunate resolutions? Avoid the thirteenth and final book of Lemony Snicket's international bestselling series and you'll never have to know what happens.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Everybody loves a carnival Who can fail to delight in the colourful people, the unworldly spectacle, the fabulous freaks?
A carnival is a place for good family fun--as long as one has a family, that is. For the Baudelaire orphans, their time at the carnival turns out to be yet another episode in a now unbearable series of unfortunate events. In fact, in this appalling ninth installment in Lemony Snicket's serial, the siblings must confront a terrible lie, a caravan, and Chabo the wolf baby.
With millions of readers worldwide, and the Baudelaire's fate turning from unpleasant to unseemly, it is clear that Lemony Snicket has taken nearly all the fun out of children's books.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
In their most daring misadventure, the Baudelaire orphans are adopted by very, very rich people, whose penthouse apartment is located mysteriously close to the place where all their misfortune began. Even though their new home in the city is fancy, and the children are clever and charming, I'm sorry to say that still, the unlucky orphans will encounter more disaster and woe.
In fact, in this sixth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the children will experience a darkened staircase, a red herring, an auction, parsley soda, some friends in a dire situation, a secret passageway, and pinstripe suits.
Both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted, A Series of Unfortunate Events offers an exquisitely dark comedy in the tradition of Edward Gorey and Roald Dahl. Lemon Snicket's uproariously unhappy books continue to win readers, despite all his warnings.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Warning: Your day will become very dark--and possibly damp--if you read this book.
Plan to spend this spring in hiding. Lemony Snicket is back with the eleventh book in his New York Times bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Lemony Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to provoke suspicion and despair in readers the world over. In the eleventh and most alarming volume yet in the bestselling phenomenon A Series of Unfortunate Events, the intrepid siblings delve further into the dark mystery surrounding the death of their parents and the baffling VFD organisation.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Like bad smells, uninvited weekend guests or very old eggs, there are some things that ought to be avoided.
Snicket's saga about the charming, intelligent, and grossly unlucky Baudelaire orphans continues to alarm its distressed and suspicious fans the world over. The tenth book in this outrageous publishing effort features more than the usual dose of distressing details, such as snow gnats, an organised troupe of youngsters, an evil villain with a dastardly plan, a secret headquarters and some dangerous antics you should not try at home. With the weather turning colder, this is one chilling book you would be better off without.