As a columnist for the Washington Post, Alexandra Petri has watched in real time as those who didn't learn from history have been forced to repeat it. And repeat it. And repeat it. If we repeat history one more time, we're going to fail! Maybe it's time for a new textbook.

Alexandra Petri's US History contains a lost (invented!) history of America. (A history for people disappointed that the only president whose weird sex letters we have is Warren G. Harding.) Petri's historical fan fiction draws on real events and completely absurd fabrications to create a laugh-out-loud, irreverent takedown of our nation's complicated past.

On Petri's deranged timeline, John and Abigail Adams try sexting, the March sisters from Little Women are sixty feet tall, and Susan Sontag goes to summer camp. Nearly eighty short, hilarious pieces span centuries of American history and culture. Ayn Rand rewrites The Little Engine That Could. Nikola Tesla's friends stage an intervention when he falls in love with a pigeon. The characters from Sesame Street invade Normandy. And Mark Twain--who famously said reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated--offers a detailed account of his undeath, in which he becomes a zombie.

This side-splitting work of historical humor shows why Alexandra Petri has been hailed as a genius,* a national treasure,+ and one of the funniest writers alive+.

*Olivia Nuzzi, Katha Pollitt
+Julia Ioffe, Katy Tur, John Scalzi, Chuck Wendig, Jamil Smith, and Susan Hennessey
+Randall Munroe

As a columnist for the Washington Post, Alexandra Petri has watched in real time as those who didn't learn from history have been forced to repeat it. And repeat it. And repeat it. If we repeat history one more time, we're going to fail! Maybe it's time for a new textbook.

Alexandra Petri's US History contains a lost (invented!) history of America. (A history for people disappointed that the only president whose weird sex letters we have is Warren G. Harding.) Petri's historical fan fiction draws on real events and completely absurd fabrications to create a laugh-out-loud, irreverent takedown of our nation's complicated past.

On Petri's deranged timeline, John and Abigail Adams try sexting, the March sisters from Little Women are sixty feet tall, and Susan Sontag goes to summer camp. Nearly eighty short, hilarious pieces span centuries of American history and culture. Ayn Rand rewrites The Little Engine That Could. Nikola Tesla's friends stage an intervention when he falls in love with a pigeon. The characters from Sesame Street invade Normandy. And Mark Twain--who famously said reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated--offers a detailed account of his undeath, in which he becomes a zombie.

This side-splitting work of historical humor shows why Alexandra Petri has been hailed as a genius,* a national treasure,+ and one of the funniest writers alive+.

*Olivia Nuzzi, Katha Pollitt
+Julia Ioffe, Katy Tur, John Scalzi, Chuck Wendig, Jamil Smith, and Susan Hennessey
+Randall Munroe

Most twentysomethings avoid awkwardness.
Not Alexandra Petri.

She auditioned for America's Next Top Model. She lost Jeopardy by answering Who is that dude? One time, she let some cult members baptize her, just to be polite. Alexandra Petri is a connoisseur of the kind of awkwardness most people spend lifetimes avoiding. If John Hodgman and Amy Sedaris had a baby. . .they would never let Petri babysit it.

Here, the Washington Post columnist turns her satirical eye on her own life--with hilarious results. And she's here to tell you that interesting things start to happen when you stop caring what people think.

In Nothing Is Wrong and Here Is Why, acclaimed Washington Post satirist Alexandra Petri offers perfectly logical, reassuring reasons for everything that has happened in recent American politics that will in no way unsettle your worldview. In essays both new and adapted from her viral columns, Petri reports that the Trump administration was as competent as it was uncorrupted, white supremacy has never been less rampant, and men have been silenced for too long. The woman card is a powerful card to play! Q-Anon makes perfect sense! This Panglossian venture into our swampy present offers a virtuosic first draft of history that chronicles the chaotic half-decade from the twilight of the Obama years to the final gasp of the Trump administration.

One of the difficulties of being alive today, Petri notes, is that everything is absurd but fewer and fewer things are funny. Written with devastating wit that reveals a persistent, perhaps manic optimism about her benighted country, Petri's essays have become iconic expressions of rage and anger, read and liked and shared by hundreds of thousands of people. Nothing Is Wrong and Here Is Why shows why she has emerged as the preeminent political satirist of her generation.