Some of the topics covered in The Narcissist's Playbook are:
-What manipulation is and isn't.
-How to spot manipulative behaviors early (and why most people struggle with this).
-How and why people get caught up with manipulators, and why they have a hard time breaking free.
-How to identify the emotional hook that is keeping you stuck in manipulation and what you can do about it.
- How to effectively disable manipulation as it is happening.
- How to identify the common personality traits that are frequently exploited by manipulators.
Lying. Cheating. Manipulating.
Will they ever change?
What will it take to get through to them?
They apologized, but will this time be different...or will they just get better at hiding what they are up to?
This book will help you get out of the fog of confusion and into the clarity you are looking for.
FOG is an acronym that stands for Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. These three emotions are often at the core of manipulation, and are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling their targets.
However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths.
There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well, and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.
The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay stuck in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel that they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault.
When a person is being manipulated they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disasterous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazymaking, people pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries.
What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice--especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support group members, or a therapist.
Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is:
Who are you to judge?
No one is perfect.
You need to forgive them.
She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know.
Commitment is forever.
What can be so crazymaking for targets is that they are often getting two very different messages. On one hand, they are told that they need to work towards a solution, and on the other, they are told that need to leave a partner who lies, cheats, steals, hits, yells, or belittles them.
This book compares and contrasts of these concepts so that targets of any type of manipulation and abuse can make a more empowered decision.
Some of the concepts covered are:
Who are You to Judge vs. Being Discerning
No One is Perfect vs. Tolerating Abuse
You Need to Forgive Them vs. Keeping Yourself Safe
A Parent vs. A Predator
Commitment vs. Codependency
Self-love vs. Selfishness
A Person Acting the Part vs. A Person Actually Changing
Gut Instincts vs. Hypervigilance
A Friend vs. Someone Being Friendly
Caring vs. Caretaking
Being in Love With Them vs. Being in Love With Who They Pretended to Be
Workable Behavior vs. Deal Breakers
Acceptance vs. Allowance
Going Through So Much Together vs. Being Put Through So Much By Them
Sincerity vs. Intensity
Healthy Bonding vs. Trauma Bonding
Insincere Remorse vs. Sincere Remorse
Reacting vs. Responding
...and many more.
Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might?Do you continually feel anxious around someone in your life, but can't pinpoint why?Do conversations seem to go off track, leaving you feeling knocked off balance and confused?Does it feel like they are making your life a living hell, but they insist that you are too sensitive, crazy, or to blame?Perhaps you know you are being manipulated or abused, but don't know how to make it stop.The Narcissist's Playbook can help. Dana Morningstar is a domestic violence advocate, author, podcaster, YouTuber, speaker, and group leader. She writes from personal as well as professional experience in the field of domestic violence awareness, narcissistic abuse, and advocacy. Some of the topics covered in The Narcissist's Playbook are: -What manipulation is and isn't.-How to spot manipulative behaviors early (and why most people struggle with this).-How and why people get caught up with manipulators, and why they have a hard time breaking free.-How to identify the emotional hook that is keeping you stuck in manipulation and what you can do about it.- How to effectively disable manipulation as it is happening. - How to identify the common personality traits that are frequently exploited by manipulators. You can take back your life. The Narcissist's Playbook tells you how.
If you've been manipulated, then odds are you are having a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal compared to what is problematic, and if your wants, needs, and feelings are valid. This confusion is often caused by what is known as the FOG. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazymaking, people pleasing, an erosion of boundaries, and the ultimate loss of self. The FOG is an acronym that stands for Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. These three emotions are often at the core of manipulation and are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling their targets. However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice--especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support group members, spiritual advisors, or therapists.
Some of the concepts covered are:
Who are You to Judge vs. Being Discerning
No One is Perfect vs. Tolerating Abuse
Commitment vs. Codependency
Self-love vs. Selfishness
A Person Acting the Part vs. A Person Actually Changing
A Friend vs. Someone Being Friendly
Being in Love With Them vs. Being in Love With Who They Pretended to Be
Workable Behavior vs. Deal Breakers
Acceptance vs. Allowance
Going Through So Much Together vs. Being Put Through So Much By Them
Sincerity vs. Intensity
Healthy Bonding vs. Trauma Bonding
Insincere Remorse vs. Sincere Remorse
...and many more.
Are you in a relationship or dynamic with a person that can be best described as an emotional rollercoaster, toxic, draining, crazy-making, or confusing?
Have you wondered why they never seem to change--no matter how much you are willing to do for them, or how much love, understanding, rehab, religion, therapy, second (or twenty-second) chances you've given them?
Do you feel as though if you tried harder that eventually you could earn their love, respect, loyalty, honesty, or be treated with dignity and respect?
If so, you are not alone and this book is a great place to start.
This book covers:
- The most common words and definitions (along with examples) surrounding narcissists, sociopaths, and narcissistic
abuse, such as flying monkeys, hoovering, narcissistic abuse, love bombing, trauma bonding, C-PTSD, scapegoat, reactive abuse, as well as dozens of additional words and concepts that will most likely help everything make a lot more sense.
- Understanding the cycle of narcissistic abuse (and what is really looks like in motion).
- The different ways that emotional manipulators go about exploiting your vulnerabilities.
- Frequently asked questions about narcissistic abuse.
- Elements to consider if you are planning to leave so you can do it as safely as possible.
- What to anticipate after breaking up with a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, or any other type of emotional
manipulator.
- How to find a support group and privacy concerns to consider when joining one.
- A section for friends and family for how to help support a loved one who is in a narcissistically abusive relationship or dynamic.
And much, much more.
Break free from toxic relationships once and for all.
Dating is challenging enough in general, but if you've been through the emotional meat grinder of a toxic relationship, then it is even more difficult. You may struggle with fear and self-doubt, and you may wonder if it's even possible for you to trust again, let alone fall in love. You may get all kinds of well-intended or invalidating bad advice, such as, You need to let down your guard and love like you've never been hurt, or Not every man (or woman) out there is like your ex. You want to believe what these people say, but deep down, you have so many questions and you doubt your own judgment.
In Dear Dana: FAQs about Dating after Narcissistic Abuse, you will discover:
- How to stop attracting narcissists
- What makes a relationship dysfunctional
- What makes a relationship healthy
- Red flags in online dating
- Early red flags of abuse
- When to tell your new partner about your abusive ex
- How to tell the difference between listening to your fear and listening to your intuition
- How to know when you are ready to date again
- How to know if your standards are too high
- How to determine if a person is a narcissist
And much more.
Are you in a relationship or dynamic with a person that can be best described as an emotional rollercoaster, toxic, draining, crazy-making, or confusing?
Have you wondered why they never seem to change--no matter how much you are willing to do for them, or how much love, understanding, rehab, religion, therapy, second (or twenty-second) chances you've given them?
Do you feel as though if you tried harder that eventually you could earn their love, respect, loyalty, honesty, or be treated with dignity and respect?
If so, you are not alone and this book is a great place to start.
This book covers:
- The most common words and definitions (along with examples) surrounding narcissists, sociopaths, and narcissistic
abuse, such as flying monkeys, hoovering, narcissistic abuse, love bombing, trauma bonding, C-PTSD, scapegoat, reactive abuse, as well as dozens of additional words and concepts that will most likely help everything make a lot more sense.
- Understanding the cycle of narcissistic abuse (and what is really looks like in motion).
- The different ways that emotional manipulators go about exploiting your vulnerabilities.
- Frequently asked questions about narcissistic abuse.
- Elements to consider if you are planning to leave so you can do it as safely as possible.
- What to anticipate after breaking up with a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, or any other type of emotional
manipulator.
- How to find a support group and privacy concerns to consider when joining one.
- A section for friends and family for how to help support a loved one who is in a narcissistically abusive relationship or dynamic.
And much, much more.