Some difficult people aren't just hard to deal with--they're dangerous.

Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems?

When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders--borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic--they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake.

But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to:

- Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
- Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life.
- Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs.

Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.

Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior.

Bullies exist everywhere: families, workplaces, neighborhoods and communities, politics and government, and organizations of all types and sizes. And in a media landscape where conflict, crisis, chaos, and fear reign supreme, every day we see the worst behavior of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures who serve as role models.

Winners and losers. Friends and enemies. Heroes and villains. People with high-conflict personalities think almost solely in these extremes. They regularly express unmanaged emotions, routinely blame others, and do harmful things that 90% of people would never do. Bullies share these characteristics, plus a drive to dominate or destroy their victims.

But all bullies act in the same highly predictable patterns, regardless of their demographics and situation. By focusing on the ten hidden powers bullies employ--from their unrestrained nature and bully story to manipulating emotions and playing the victim--Bill Eddy unpacks the way bullies rely on primitive emotions and nonverbal behavior. He helps readers spot these behaviors and offers practical actions before they become immobilized by helplessness, blame, and shame.

In today's world, we all may have an adult bully in our lives sooner or later. For anyone who has a bully in their life now, for professionals who counsel victims of bullying, and for anyone who is concerned about the fraying of our culture and society, this book gives effective strategies to prevent bullies from taking over. Eddy's six-step approach includes useful advice on how to:

Recognize the patterns of bully behavior Pull the plug on the bully's story Set limits with credible threats Impose serious consequences Communicate effectively about bullies to others Stand strong with others against bullies

Our New World of Adult Bullies takes a closer look at the dangerous behavior of bullies and how to stop the behavior before it starts.

The BIFF communication technique protects your reputation and reduces conflict when high-conflict people attack via email, social media and in-person.

This highly anticipated second edition of Splitting includes new chapters on abuse, alienation, and false allegations; as well as information about the four types of domestic violence, protective orders, and child custody disputes.

Are you divorcing someone who's making the process as difficult as possible? Are they sending you nasty emails, falsifying the truth, putting your children in the middle, abusing you, or abusing the system? Are they persuasive blamers, manipulating and fooling court personnel to get them on their side? If so, you need this book.

For more than ten years, Splitting has served as the ultimate guide for people divorcing a high conflict person, one who often has borderline or narcissistic (or even antisocial) personality disorder. Among other things, it has saved readers thousands of dollars, helped them keep custody of their children, and effectively guided them through a difficult legal and emotional process.

Written by a family law attorney and therapist, and the author of Stop Walking on Eggshells, Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a persuasive blamer: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and/or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). This second edition includes new information about antisocial personalities; expanded information about domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and false allegations; how to approach protective orders and deal with child custody disputes; and a new chapter on how to successfully present your case to decision makers.

Turn to this guide to help you:

• Predict what your spouse may do or say in court
• Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking
• Choose a lawyer who understands your case
• Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you

If you need help navigating a high-conflict divorce from a manipulative spouse, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.

Coparenting is hard in any circumstance and when doing it with someone that has a high conflict personality, can seem impossible. The first step is to admit that you are outmatched in every way except for the ability to learn new skills related to the high conflict personality. My life did not change until I began to read and understand and start using tools like BIFF. I couldn't help my children because I couldn't help myself and until I learned new tools, felt hopeless. Using BIFF will give you hope that change is possible. A.C., parent

Use BIFF to Communicate with Your Ex's Blaming, Accusing and Taunting Texts and Emails

In divorce and co-parenting, not only do you need to deal with your own emotions, you may be faced with a daily barrage of hostile calls, texts, email, and social media blasts. How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids?

For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts, and conversations has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a difficult co-parent and with those who may have a high conflict personality, and it helps with those who don't. This third book in the BIFF(TM) Conflict Communication Series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues during, and after, separation and divorce. Complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method, and numerous practical examples, readers will learn the intricacies of their new parenting environment.

When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it's simple and practical, it's not natural for most of us because we are hooked by the emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write.

Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm

BIFF is a communication game changer-it works!

A four-step method for handling the increasingly-outrageous behavior of narcissists and high-conflict people at work: customers, employees, managers and business-owners.

An amazingly simple technique for getting high-conflict people to stop blaming others, and instead join in finding solutions to problems.

Have you ever received an email that made your heart beat faster or spiked your blood pressure? We all know we're not supposed to respond right away, but how you respond will either increase or decrease the hostility and conflict. Hostile and undermining emails, letters, texts, and conversations can drain inordinate amounts of time, emotional energy and expense in the workplace.

For over a dozen years, the BIFF method of communicating in writing has helped thousands of people calm conflicts and create clear communication in response to misinformation, blame, and unnecessary anger.

BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) is a simple, practical and structured way to respond to nasty emails or any written communication. It can help you get the outcomes you want by diffusing tension, containing conflict, and establishing professional boundaries.

This second book in the Conflict Communication Series focuses exclusively on workplace communication-internal and external-with instructions on how to use the four-step BIFF method with numerous examples of what works and what does not work to demonstrate potential pitfalls. It also includes tips on how to coach co-workers and others on writing effective BIFF responses to customers, clients, employees, and managers-instead of becoming consumed in unhealthy back-and-forth wars. Using BIFF with toxic teammates, workplace bullies, and threatening customers and clients can reduce the risk of lawsuits and complaints and make everyone feel more confident in workplace relationships.

Use BIFF to lower your blood pressure, turn down the conflict flame, and restore your confidence. BIFF is a game-changer when you have to respond in writing in high-conflict situations or with any upset person. Then use Bill's EAR Statement(TM) technique in Calming Upset People with EAR for verbal communications in high-conflict situations.

BIFF is simple, powerful, and impactful. This book should be
mandatory reading for the entire legal industry. Once you start to use BIFF, it becomes an
antidote for caustic interactions. You can't
stop the poison, but BIFF gives you the antidote to counteract it safely. Read it, apply it, and start to use power of
BIFF. --Attorney Steve Riley, Atticus shareholder and podcast host of Great Practice. Great Life.

Use BIFF to Communicate with Your Ex's Blaming, Accusing and Taunting Texts and Emails

This book provides
a simple and proven method for lawyers and staff to use in ethically responding to
hostile communications, correcting misinformation by others, and initiating
productive correspondence. The BIFF Communication method can be used by all law office personnel
(paralegals, administrative assistants, receptionists, and others), with 30
sample responses to common situations involving hostile or misinformed emails,
text messages, and other forms of communication. BIFF stands for Brief,
Informative, Friendly, and Firm.

The BIFF Communication method can also be taught to clients to help them write friendly and concise
responses in their legal cases, saving lawyers time and reducing the escalation of unnecessary conflicts in their cases. This book explains how to
coach office staff, clients and their family members to use the BIFF Communication method,
including ten easy key questions to ask when reviewing their correspondence.
While this method is designed primarily for written communication, this
approach can also be used in verbal conversations, to be efficient and respectful.

The book is divided into five sections:

1. Learning
   the BIFF method
2. Correspondence with clients
3. Correspondence with
   colleagues
4. Correspondence with staff and between staff
5. Coaching
   staff and clients in the BIFF method.

Each sample scenario provides a hostile
correspondence received by the lawyer and/or staff member; then gives a tempting
response which is not quite a BIFF (analyzed using the BIFF Checker); then
gives a communication that is a BIFF.

The level of stress and conflict in today's world is higher than seen in decades. We all can use tools for managing the emotions this has caused. At the same time, there also appear to be more high conflict people who are preoccupied with blaming others and verbally venting or attacking those around them.

Yet, these upset emotions and conflicts can often be calmed immediately through the use of a simple EAR Statement(TM), a method of verbal communication developed and refined by Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute over the past fifteen years and taught to hundreds of thousands of professionals and individuals.

Following on the success of his widely-known BIFF Response(R) method and books for written communication, this new book will come in handy when interacting in-person in all kinds of upset situations: family conflicts, workplace disputes, neighbor controversies, angry customers, clients and patients; and any other setting.

A simple statement communicating empathy, attention and/or respect to an angry, sad, mentally ill, or other upset person at any time can work wonders in minutes. Yet it's not as easy as it looks. It takes practice and this book gives over twenty examples of applying this method in families, communities, customer relations, workplace, political discussions, business, police encounters, racial conflicts, schools, mental health settings, and others.

Empathy, attention and respect are what all people are looking for, especially when upset or in a conflict. This book will give you the details of how to calm upset people with EAR every day. Words matter.

Two experts in high-conflict relationships teach readers to use dating radar to identify and avoid mates who will create misery.

High conflict mediation requires a paradigm shift from traditional mediation--high conflict experts Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax show you how.

Over the past ten years the authors have been developing and practicing tips for managing high conflict clients in mediation, which is now a fully developed new method called New Ways for Mediation(R). Mediating High Conflict Disputes gives all of the little tips which any mediator can use, as well as the step-by-step structure of the New Ways for Mediation method for those who want to have better control of the process in high conflict cases--or any cases.

Bill Eddy is primarily a family mediator in San Diego, California, with a worldwide reputation for training mediators, lawyers, judges and counselors in methods for working with clients with high conflict personality disorders or traits. He is the recipient of the Academy of Professional Mediatiors Family Mediation Lifetime Achievement Award 2021.

Michael Lomax is a mediator dealing with family, workplace, military and government agency disputes in British Columbia, Canada. Both have provided training in this method for High Conflict Institute over the past ten years.

This book is divided into three parts:

Part 1 provides a thorough explanation of the thinking and behavior of parties with high conflict personalities, with an emphasis on what does not work and should be avoided.

Part 2 provides a detailed description of the New Ways for Mediation method, including several paradigm shifts in each step of the process for greater success. Its similarities and differences with interest-based negotiations and transformative mediation methods are explained.

Part 3 includes numerous examples describing cases with special issues in several settings, including family, workplace, and disputes involving government agencies.

In this tenth anniversary edition of Don't Alienate the Kids! attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows readers how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors.

We all know breakups can get ugly. But sometimes they can get downright vicious, with badmouthing, brainwashing, and allegations of alienation, child abuse and domestic violence, all leading to nasty custody battles.

And when they do, it's the children who suffer most. During a high-conflict divorce or separation, kids can develop lifelong habits of all-or-nothing thinking, unregulated emotions, and extreme behaviors. Professionals who want to help may unintentionally make things worse, believing everything a parent says or taking sides.

No one can solve this problem alone. That's because the wall of alienation between parent and child is built by:

the family's own patterns of conflict

family court professionals who get emotionally hooked

society's rapidly escalating culture of blame

But there's hope! Readers can help kids learn flexible thinking, emotion regulation, effective behaviors, and healthy relationships.

Everyone involved must work together. This book shows how parents, family members, friends, counselors, lawyers, parenting coordinators, divorce coaches, and family court judges can become part of the solution, giving children a foundation of resilience that will last a lifetime.

Bill Eddy is cofounder of the High Conflict Institute and the author or coauthor of thirteen books, including Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, BIFF, and Splitting.

Explains in easy-to-understand terminology, the behaviors of people with personality disorders or with traits, particularly blaming, irrational and impulsive behaviors.

Make sense of the fears that drive people to file lawsuits, complaints and wreak havoc for legal professionals and everyone.

People with high conflict personalities (HCPs) clog our courts as plaintiffs with inappropriate claims against their personal targets of blame, and as defendants who have harmed others and need to be stopped. Everybody knows someone with a High Conflict Personality. How can he be so unreasonable? Why does she keep fighting? Can't she see how destructive she is? Can you believe they're going to court over ______?

Some HCPs are more difficult than others, but they tend to share a similar preoccupation with blame that drives them into one dispute after anotherand keeps everyone perplexed about how to deal with them.

Using case examples and an analysis of the general litigation and negotiation behaviors of HCPs, this book helps make sense of the fears that drive people to file lawsuits and complaints. It provides insight for containing their behavior while managing and/or resolving their disputes. Characteristics of the five high-conflict personality disorders are explored:

• Borderline
• Narcissistic
• Histrionic
• Paranoid
• Antisocial

New in this edition:

• Updates from the 2013 release of the revised DSM-5
• New chapter on Paranoid Personality Disorder
• New chapter on Presenting Your Case
• Research on the prevalence of personality disorders
• New case examples

Trump Bubbles explains the rise-and-fall pattern of high-conflict politicians, focusing on the case of Donald Trump and questions people ask.

Workbook used by family courts to teach parents the skills necessary to jointly make their parenting decisions out of court.

Manual for family court professionals to use with high-conflict divorcing families. It focuses on strengthening skills before making long-term decisions.

This book is designed for judicial officers to use in managing people with high conflict personalities in any courtroom.

Splitting America is for anyone who is disturbed by the current political situation and wants to do something about it!