Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm

THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph
'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out
_________

Welcome to Clarkson's farm.

It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'.

And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it.

From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough.

Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . .
_________

'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Praise for Clarkson's Farm:

'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN

'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT

'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH

'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

Diddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022

It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?

'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMES

----

Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm.

So, that went well . . .

The spring barley crop failed.
Just like the oil seed rape.
And the durum wheat.
Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy.
Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world's persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero's not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop's still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn't.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he's got the best. And it's hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there's a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, 'there's no man alive who wouldn't have fun with a digger . . .'
*Jeremy

----

Praise for Clarkson's Farm

'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN

'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT

'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH

'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2024

The fifth volume in the mega-bestselling World According to Clarkson series.

Well, someone's got to do it: in a world which simply will not see reason, Jeremy sets off on another quest to beat a path of sense through all the silliness and idiocy.

And there's no knowing what might catch Jeremy's eye along the way. It could be:
-The merits of Stonehenge as a business model
-Why all meetings are a waste of time
-The theft of the Queen's cows
-One Norwegian man's unique approach to showing his gratitude
-Fitting a burglar alarm to a tortoise
-Or how Lou Reed was completely wrong about what makes a perfect day

Pithy and provocative, this is Clarkson at his best, taking issue with whatever nonsense gets in the way of his search for all that's worth celebrating. Why should we be forced to accept stuff that's a bit rubbish? Shouldn't things work? Why doesn't someone care? I mean, is it really too much to ask?

It's a good thing we've still got Jeremy out there, still looking, without fear or favour, for the answers.

It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?

'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMES

----

Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm.

So, that went well . . .

The spring barley crop failed.
Just like the oil seed rape.
And the durum wheat.
Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy.
Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world's persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero's not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop's still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn't.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he's got the best. And it's hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there's a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, 'there's no man alive who wouldn't have fun with a digger . . .'
*Jeremy

----

Praise for Clarkson's Farm:

'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN

'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT

'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH

'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2024

The publication of The World According to Clarkson in 2004 launched a multi-million-copy bestselling phenomenon. But to no avail.

Jeremy's one-man war on crimes against common sense has not yet been won. And our hero's still scratching his head at the madness of it all. But it's not all bad. He's learned a little along the way, including:

Why binge drinking is good for you

The worst word in the English language

The remarkable secret of eternal youth

The pleasure and pain of middle-aged drumming

The problem with America

And how to dispose of a seal

For anyone who's ever been driven to wonder just what is the matter with people these days, For Crying Out Loud is the perfect riposte. Surprising, fearless and always laugh-out-loud funny, Clarkson's back. And he's got a point . . .

Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, the Sunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the associated Kent Newspapers, and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.

These days, you might know him better as a tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer, but Jeremy Clarkson wasn't always a horny-handed son of the soil. Not at all . . . Back in the day Jeremy was far more likely to be found gunning around the world in a haze of burnt rubber and petrol fumes. But life as a globe-trotting petrol-head also meant he was forced endure more than his fair share of foolishness, frustration and downright bafflement. And, while Jeremy may not a patient man, you have to ask why anyone should have to consider issues as diverse and perplexing as: - The downsides of relaxing in a bath of crude oil - Why fishing is for people who hate their kids - Whether there are noise-cancelling headphones with the power to silence James May - Why saving the planet means soggy paper straws and no more children - What to do about the rambler who stole his marrow But as puzzling and exasperating as life on the road often seemed to be, you could always count on Jeremy to set the world to rights with a rare wit and unique understanding. And at full throttle. Just don't expect it to all go smoothly . . .

In this collection of classic Clarkson, he's pulled together the car columns and stories with which he made his name. Irreverent, damn funny and offensive to almost everyone, this is writing with its foot to the floor, the brake lines cut and the speed limit smashed to smithereens. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Jeremy Clarkson gets really riled in Round the Bend.

What's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you?

This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he he:

* Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs Home

* Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world

* Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested

* Argues that washing a car is a waste of time

Funny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best.

Praise for Jeremy Clarkson
'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph

'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out

'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard